Archive for karaoke

Breakin up is hard to do?

Posted in Silly... with tags , , on August 1, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

Dropout,

I need to break up with this dude. How should I do it?

-Crystal

Okay. I made this question up. And I’ve been at a karaoke bar drinking and singing Violent Femmes all night. But people ask me shite like this all the time.

And for the folks there that I’m to which referring to now… here’s a good example (nayQ!! a template!!!) to follow for an excellent (read: horrible) break up letter (email, probably).

http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/

Thundercats. Who-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

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Toilet Cookie Fortune

Posted in advice with tags , , , , , on May 12, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

Dropout,

I was just on the toilet eating a fortune cookie, and the fortune inside said, “Failure is the tuition you pay for success”. What the hell does that mean?

-Allen

I think it’s a fancy way of saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” Which is stupid. Look, sometimes people suck at things and, quite frankly, it’s pretty mean to encourage them to keep at it.

Way I see it, if you try something and fail, just walk away. Don’t humiliate yourself further.

You know what I suck at? Failing.

Still, the best fortune cookie fortune I’ve ever heard of was recounted to me by my friend Bob. It said, simply:

“You are going to a karaoke party.”

Now that’s a fortune.

-Dropout