That’s not what I wrote.

Posted in Silly... with tags , , , on July 22, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

Sorry for the lack of posts. I haven’t seen a computer in four or five days. they’re hard to find in the succubus-infested woods of Muertavania. But hey, demon-hunter’s gotta hunt, right?

Anyway, something’s been bugging me for the last few weeks. My friend Ben finally showed me a cut of the last film I wrote (which he directed): The Fence. I really liked a lot of what he did with it. Especially considering the limitations of bdget, time, etc., he made it happen and I’m quite grateful. But I’m eternally confused by changes he made to the end of the film.

The Fence is about a group of supposedly disease-stricken people who have been locked inside an inescapable prison city encased an electronic dome, known as The Fence. (A familiar sort of sci-fi setup, a la Escape from NY or Doomsday) Jonah is a former resistance fighter who has given up hope of ever seeing the outside world again. But what will he do when he learns someone very close to him has been taken by their enemies, likely to be tortured and killed? Duhn duhn duuuhhnnn.

In my ending, people are killed by mind bullets and our hero tells his family to eff off and let him drink himself to death in peace. So, imagine my surprise when I see the film end this way…

Breastfeeding Text from Stephen

Posted in Silly..., Texts with tags , , , , , on July 16, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

My friends Stephen and Mark are moving to Japan at the end of the summer. That is awesome for them, but sucks for me. Because they are the best texters in my phonebook and I will now miss out on these kinds of near-daily exchanges…

Stephen: I’m at a cafe studying japanese and woman sits down in the chair next to me, lifts up her shirt and bra and starts breast feeding…kind of distracting

Me: She hot?

Stephen: Kind of… am i supposed to give her money or something?

Me: Does she have a tip jar out?

Stephen: I don’t know if it’s a tip jar. it just says “tit jar”.

Me: Oh yeah. you should def put money in there.

Stephen: Ok. I don’t want to be disrespectful.

Me: yeah i know how sensitive you are about that stuff

Nissan Ninja-mobile

Posted in Silly... with tags , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

So, I wasn’t even aware that I was in the market for a new car until I read this craigslist ad. But now I’m gonna stop bronzing and shaving my chest and focus my efforts on raising $11,000. Because I am sold. Sold!

Wake up with… This Guy

Posted in Silly... with tags , , , , on July 13, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

Whether or not this video is suitable for your workplace depends on how your employer feels about pretty overweight, fairly naked, and musically prodigious redneck viking men. And hot Indians on motorcycles.

Auto-Tune the News: Episode 6 (I think)

Posted in Silly... with tags , , , , , , , on July 13, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

So those auto-tune the news guys are stiiiillll auto-tuning the news. My response, as usual, is “Thank God.”

Wake Up with Matt and Kim

Posted in wake up songs with tags , , , , , on July 13, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

We were closing up shop at work the other night and I just wanted to get out of there and go to sleep. But then Jackie threw on Matt and Kim’s album “Grand” and suddenly work didn’t seem so bad. Matt and Kim are just a good time.

Matt and Kim – Good Ol’ Fashion Nightmare

Matt and Kim – Daylight

Best page on the internet?

Posted in opinions, Silly... with tags , , , , , , , , on July 11, 2009 by Digger (Not Phelps)

Some people are saying this is the best webpage on the internet. I don’t agree. There’s no Chuck Norris, no auto-tuning, and not one single boob. Unless you count those things under the revealing blouses of Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife. I don’t. So, this is missing some key components to internet greatness.

Nevertheless, it is still quite awesome.