Ask a Dropout

Who’s bringing the microwave?

Digger (Not Phelps) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:07:19 +0000

I remember the first call I got from my assigned freshman roomate at UNC. It was a very brief chat because he just wanted, in his words, to make sure I wasn’t gay or anything*. We’d figure out who was gonna bring what later on.

Obviously, this was before the days of facebook, because apparently this is how you handle the new roomie situation now…

* I wasn’t.

Go to Local 506 in October (With BAZAN update)

Digger (Not Phelps) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:00:22 +0000

UPDATE: Yesterday, it was announced that David Bazan will be performing at Local 506 on October 15. This is getting ridiculous. I know most people don’t know who David Bazan is, but he’s probably my favorite songwriter of all time and pretty much the only musician who I can say has really truly legitimately played a significant role in shaping my worldview.

———————————————–

Every now and then I peruse the Cat’s Cradle and Local 506 schedules to try and find a good excuse to go to Chapel Hill for a night/weekend, and to get a good show out of it. Just a few minutes ago was one of those every now and thens. And holy crap is Local 506 killing me right now. Just as I’m getting settled into Norfolk, enjoying my good life here, the 506 goes and bitch-slaps me with a taunt of the awesomeness that is its October(ish) lineup.

Here’s what’s on it…

9/29 – The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, The Depreciation Guild, Cymbals Eat Guitars

10/1 – The Twilight Sad, brakesbrakesbrakes, We Were Promised Jetpacks. (I must be at this show. I ****ing must! With pints and pints of Guinness, of course!)

(Starts at 1:20 mark)

10/6 – A Place to Bury Strangers

10/9 – Titus Andronicus

10/16 – Atlas Sound

10/19 – Japandroids (still probably my favorite album of the year so far by the way)

Oh, and did I mention the most expensive show is a measly twelve bucks?

Congratulations Local 506, you have kicked my ass. Kicked it you have!

Heckler – 7, Mayoral Candidate – 0

Digger (Not Phelps) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:27:08 +0000

Breakin up is hard to do?

Digger (Not Phelps) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 05:48:12 +0000

Dropout,

I need to break up with this dude. How should I do it?

-Crystal

Okay. I made this question up. And I’ve been at a karaoke bar drinking and singing Violent Femmes all night. But people ask me shite like this all the time.

And for the folks there that I’m to which referring to now… here’s a good example (nayQ!! a template!!!) to follow for an excellent (read: horrible) break up letter (email, probably).

http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/

Thundercats. Who-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.

Racist kid?

Digger (Not Phelps) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 23:15:23 +0000

Dropout,

Is this kid a racist?

-Terry

Ummm… the kid didn’t ask the question did he/she? No. He/she (Ed. note: I really have no idea) just answered it. And in a great many circles, correctly, I might add.

-DO

Worst (?) Standup?

Digger (Not Phelps) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 22:18:59 +0000

The youtube user who posted this video says it’s a terrible standup routine. I think said user is an idiot. This guy is hilarious. Intentionally hilarious. And the crowd is just full of idiots, too, so it flies right over their heads.

P.S. A lot going on for the Dropout right now. Hope to be posting regularly again very soon.

Wesley Snipes in new Twilight movie?

Digger (Not Phelps) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:59:05 +0000

This picture has been circulating the interwebs a bit. I’m not sure where it originated from, but I wish I did because I laughed one of my morning whiskey shots way up into my nose when I saw it…

Perfect.

Now, if only the Daywalker would show up to Comic-Con and take swipes at the hordes of Twihards. I’m all for fandom, and I’ve no real problem with the girls I know who enjoy the books and their obsession ends there.

But the crazed stampedes of freaks who offer up blood to Robert Pattinson, etc.? Worst. Fanbase. Ever.

That’s not what I wrote.

Digger (Not Phelps) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:46:16 +0000

Sorry for the lack of posts. I haven’t seen a computer in four or five days. they’re hard to find in the succubus-infested woods of Muertavania. But hey, demon-hunter’s gotta hunt, right?

Anyway, something’s been bugging me for the last few weeks. My friend Ben finally showed me a cut of the last film I wrote (which he directed): The Fence. I really liked a lot of what he did with it. Especially considering the limitations of bdget, time, etc., he made it happen and I’m quite grateful. But I’m eternally confused by changes he made to the end of the film.

The Fence is about a group of supposedly disease-stricken people who have been locked inside an inescapable prison city encased an electronic dome, known as The Fence. (A familiar sort of sci-fi setup, a la Escape from NY or Doomsday) Jonah is a former resistance fighter who has given up hope of ever seeing the outside world again. But what will he do when he learns someone very close to him has been taken by their enemies, likely to be tortured and killed? Duhn duhn duuuhhnnn.

In my ending, people are killed by mind bullets and our hero tells his family to eff off and let him drink himself to death in peace. So, imagine my surprise when I see the film end this way…

Breastfeeding Text from Stephen

Digger (Not Phelps) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 18:48:14 +0000

My friends Stephen and Mark are moving to Japan at the end of the summer. That is awesome for them, but sucks for me. Because they are the best texters in my phonebook and I will now miss out on these kinds of near-daily exchanges…

Stephen: I’m at a cafe studying japanese and woman sits down in the chair next to me, lifts up her shirt and bra and starts breast feeding…kind of distracting

Me: She hot?

Stephen: Kind of… am i supposed to give her money or something?

Me: Does she have a tip jar out?

Stephen: I don’t know if it’s a tip jar. it just says “tit jar”.

Me: Oh yeah. you should def put money in there.

Stephen: Ok. I don’t want to be disrespectful.

Me: yeah i know how sensitive you are about that stuff

Nissan Ninja-mobile

Digger (Not Phelps) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 04:07:02 +0000

So, I wasn’t even aware that I was in the market for a new car until I read this craigslist ad. But now I’m gonna stop bronzing and shaving my chest and focus my efforts on raising $11,000. Because I am sold. Sold!