Nic Cage #1 again?
Dropout,
Did you see where the new Nicholas Cage film “Know1ng” was #1 at the box office this weekend? What gives? How can Cage justify his career/success? Terrible.
-Down With Cage, NC
As far as last weekend’s box office goes, I think it’s safe to say that someone screwed up royally when deciding the release date for I Love You, Man. Because its target audience (i.e. ME) had no plans to go to theater this weekend. On Friday, they woke up late, called in sick to work, cracked a brew, took a seat on the couch, and watched basketball for twelve hours. Saturday? Repeat. Sunday? Repeat.
Take away the NCAA tourney…. Paul Rudd and Jason Segel are #1, not Nic Cage.
As far as justifying Cage’s career goes, is that a serious question? How can Nic Cage justify his career? Easily, that’s how! I had five reasons just pop into my head without even thinking, and I’ll reveal them at the end of this post.
But first, it sure seems easy for people to pile on Cage these days. And trust me, I get it.
Fact: He has the worst hair in Hollywood history.
Click pic for funny Cracked article.
Fact: He’s a looney who’s found a way to basically recycle one performance (same funny Cracked article) for like 8 films in a row now.
Fact: All of those films were shit sandwiches.
Shit sandwich.
Shit sandwich with a side of Jon Voight.
Oooohh Jessica Bie- Nope. Shit sandwich.
Ooohh Eva Mende- Nope. Shit sandwich.
As a thriller... Shit sandwich. But, as a comedy? Gold mine.
And…FACT: I’m still going to see Know1ng. Maybe only at the dollar theater, but I’ll see it. Here’s why…
I don’t care what anyone says, it’s a great concept.
And it’s in the hands of Alex Proyas, who I know has brilliance somewhere at his disposal. The guy made Dark City for crying out loud. Also, Rose Byrne is in it. ‘Nuff said. I won’t hate on Know1ng until I’ve seen it.
BUT! Notice that I did not list Nic Cage as a reason to see Know1ng. In fact, he’s really the only deterrent to this movie for me. So how can I claim to be sticking up for the Cage-meister?
Because we’re talking about his career. When was the last time De Niro or Pacino put something out non-shit sandwichy? They’re embarassing themselves these days, but that doesn’t make Taxi Driver or Dog Day Afternoon or Heat any less awesome.
So, 5 reasons Nic Cage’s career is justified. Off the top of my head. Without even thinking…
1-3: The Rock, Con Air, Face/Off
Those were the Nic Cage’s only movies in 1996 and 1997. Those three. In a row. You know what those films represent? The holy trinity of middle school action flicks for guys my age*. If you were born between 1982-1986 and that list doesn’t give your heart a machine-guns-and-explosions boner, then I don’t really want to know you.
4. Raising Arizona
“A Coen Brothers Film” is synonymous with “Good”. And they chose Cage to star in their breakout film.
5. Adaptation
One of my favorite films of all time. Cage plays screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and his fictional twin brother Donald as Charlie struggles to adapt “The Orchid Thief” into a screenplay. Cage is absolute dynamite in this.
So, instead of getting upset that Nic Cage still has a career when his new movies come out, just pop in one of these treasures and be thankful he had the career he once did.
-Dropout
*I’m sure some people will argue for Speed and True Lies, which are both totally legit. But they were released in 1994, when I wasn’t in middle school, so… deal with it.
